Everyday my kids are outside playing ball. They might be hitting off a tee , throwing , or lately it is wiffle ball and home run derby. There are many times I get in the game too, well one night I decided to hit, but to make it a little fairer I hit left handed. Truett came up behind me as I was swinging the the bat caught his head. Now, since I was batting left handed I was putting all my might into it and it looked like I was doing some awkward version of the chicken dance. You could tell I was not comfortable hitting that way and I had no control over how I actually swung the bat. Unfortunately, Tru got the ramifications from it. Everyone immediately started laughing, because honestly it was a funny sight and thank goodness it was a wiffle ball bat and just plastic and really did not hurt him. His first reaction was he was fine , but once he noticed everyone laughing at him getting hit in the head, then he started crying. Now, I am not all evil, although I was chuckling, I also ran to comfort him and apologize to him. Within minutes the game had resumed and all was right again!
I love the game of baseball and I love watching it... I am a true fan! This week as a family we watched the home run derby. In case you are not familiar with the home run derby, some of the best home run hitters are selected to go head to head and see who can hit the most home runs in a certain time frame. Aaron Judge won and I actually was pullin for him. Now if you know me this is a big deal , because he is a Yankee and I hate the Yankees ..... I am a pretty big Oriole fan. But I have enjoyed watching him this season (just not against my O's). He is extremely talented, has a love for the game that is aparant and makes baseball fun to watch. However, not everyone shares my views... he has his haters and critics. No matter how good he does they are going to pick him apart and highlight on everything that is wrong instead of praising the good . Sometimes in life we face the same thing. No matter how much good we do or how much growth we make as a person, people will always only see the negative. They will rip us apart and pick out every flaw. And we are human , so we all have flaws. And it is no fun being made fun of, just like Truett crying, because he was being laughed at. Anytime I used to hear comments about me I would get sad and depressed and stressed trying to change myself so I can have their approval. But the thing is the more I tried to change just to have their approval, the sadder I got, bc I realized, even if I fixed the issue they were critizing me on, they would find something new to make fun of me for. It is kind of like trying to hit the bat left handed, trying to change something about me For the sole purpose of pleasing others is awkward and unnatural. It is not the way God made me and not embracing and accepting the way God created me. We will all have our haters, but God did not mess up with he created us and he loves us... flawed and all!
I have said this numerous of times , when my mission trips starts approaching , my life gets attacked from so many different angles. I know without a doubt it is the devil trying to scare me away from going, because the impact these trips have on me and others is enough to scare the devil, and he wants to do any and everything he can to prevent it from happening. This past month has been hard. I have cried more times that I can count and to be honest there have been a couple times I felt like my heart was Just ripped from me . I have had the loneliest of moments, been discouraged, been made fun of, been taken advantage of, been questioned and been made a joke . I truly felt I had Struck Out in this game of life. And the flesh side me would question why this was happening, and then the spirit in me... tells me all of these things are not from God, it is the devil , as cliche as it sounds. But instead of crying and worrying about all these things I have no control over ... I just need to make sure I am putting my trust in God. I don't have a fighting chance to get through these things without God and I will continue ro strike out if I don't rely on him and trust him. I am trusting God to get me through these things and I am handling myself so different from how I used to. I am trying to let the spirit and prayer lead me and not my flesh. I have no doubt God is going use me like he never has before in this mission trip and that is why Satan has attacked with a vengeance. It is so close and I am so excited - I have some fear ha ... like adjusting to no running water , but I am ready!! !
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding " Proverbs 3:5. I have been reciting and reciting this verse. It is so powerful!! Please pray for myself and my team to have the most amazing experience in Haiti snd that we are able to reflect the love of Jesus!!
No switch hitting for me,
Amber
