It is pretty fair to say growing up, you always imagine life being good and having the happy ever after, just like in all the fairy tales. You never "plan" on the worse or expect things to be otherwise. But life does not always go as planned or expected and we are thrown curve balls. Today is the ending to what I thought was my future and my forever. Because, just like that with one signature all the years we put together, is like it never happened. It is over. Divorce is nasty is not fun and I would not wish it upon my worse enemy. Holidays, ball games, school functions, they will never be the same. It seems like it is not fair, but like an any situation, you adapt, and you move forward.
It has been almost 2 years now, (crazy to think it has been that long uh), but the finality of it comes down to today. These 2 years have taught me, grown me and made me put on my big girl pants and move forward. At the beginning, I was devastated and did not think there was any hope, that I was doomed, but amazingly, life went on, God provided and grew my character. I am not saying I am happy with my divorce, but obviously God has turned a bad situation and made it good. Perhaps, I needed this life event to become the woman God wants me to be and has called me to be.
I am actually pretty happy with life right now and see now that happiness is not based on one person or having the "perfect life". My life will never be perfect and I am ok with that, because perfection is so overrated and it is boring anyways. I will always be a mom of 4, I will probably still run late, I will always continue to have "Amber moments", take up two parking spots, still care a little to much about situations I have no control over, never have the perfect body, be so ADD it is not even funny, lose stuff on a daily basis and still have my "inappropriate laughing moments", BUT those are the qualities God gave me and what helps me be me, and I kinda of like those things about me. (perhaps not being late, I am trying hard to work on being early)
Who knows what the future holds for me. I do not know if marriage will ever be in the equation, or if love is, but I do know my outlook on life is not that of a bitter person. Yes, I will face obstacles, but who does not? No matter what it holds, I am quite sure it will be fun, full of laughter, travel and adventures with my kids and friends. My kids are my greatest accomplishment to date and I have the absolute best friends anyone could ask for, so although I could chose to sulk at this day and be a cynic about things to come, I am choosing to see, I am in so much of a better place and am truly happy now with the life God has given me!!!
Officially single,
Amber
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