Friday, April 10, 2015

Voices in my head... No wait outside voices.... Shhh..... I am so confused

     I love sports and that is no secret. I love watching and going to live events, but I especially love playing them.  I am ultra competitive, especially when  I played travel sports and school ball growing up.  One thing I think I was pretty good at was tuning people out.  I think it started, because I am a quieter person by nature (still outgoing just not very loud), but many people are the opposite and I just hated hearing all that "noise" as I was trying to play the game I loved.  I began at a young age to tune all the voices out that came from the stands or from people watching the game. I focused on the game I was playing and that was it.  I really could have cared less what people around me was saying about me or the team.  However, there were a couple big games where I did allow myself to "listen" to these voices and I can tell you, it desperately screwed with me.  It messed me up and made my game way off.  I played horrible and was no where playing to my potential, all because I chose not to tune people out and I allowed their taunts to get to me.
     I wish I was as good tuning people out in real life as I was playing sports growing up.  It always seems there is someone who wants to put their unsolicited advice into a situation, or just try and start things and get in the middle of something they have no business in. I am learning to not care and push this type of behavior to the side.  But unlike the game, life does not end a hour later. 
   Last night I got pretty frustrated with many things and almost debated if I should just take a break from quiet time and praying, because  I felt everything that I had been journaling and things I am sure God is telling me is so contradictory to the way life is actually panning out at this moment.  One word, I have felt God whisper over and over to me is "patience".  But DANG I thought that part was over, yet last night as I was debating if prayer is even worth it, I felt God tug at my heart and I clearly heard Him say He is still working on me, be patient.  So here I am God, I am listening to you, the One voice in my head that matters.  One thing is always constant with God, when I listen to Him and pay more attention to God's word and my journals, then the outside voices, He never fails me.  He stays true to all He has promised me and all He has told me. 
     When I listen to "outside" voices that is when the issues,  the doubt, and the fear arise.  All that extra noise is not from God.  Some people really enjoy seeing others fail and really do not have the best intentions for you, even if they appear they might.  Whether it is misery, jealousy or insecurities that drive this behavior, it is irrelevant to me, because I have to learn out to "tune" these outside voices out.  Just like in my ballgames, when I tuned the "noise" out, I played to Amber's potential, and I did not care what anyone said and it worked out for the good.  So please pray with me, that I can learn to "tune" all this noise out in my life as well, because it does nothing but cause bitterness and distress.  Pray I can stay focused on continuing to hear God and allow that to be the only voice in my head I pay attention to.

"I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people....."Psalms 85:8
"while it is said: Today, if you hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts..." Hebrews 3:15

Keeping the outside voices out and inside voices in....

Amber
    

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