No Idea

    When I was preparing for my trip, I knew I would come back changed.  I knew Nicaragua would impact me, mold and shape me.  What I was not ready for was my return home.  I thought when I got home, things would just be the same and that I would just maybe react to things a little different.  However, that simply is not the case. 
     I prayed going in that God soften my heart, humble me and continue to break me so that I can be remade leaving my strongholds and struggles out.  God for sure answered my prayers.  The people I met and made relationships with in Nicaragua have left a permanent stamp on my heart.  I am still in awe of their hospitality, gentleness, appreciation and sincereness.  It is qualities that we as a whole lack here in the United States. 
    We visited many homes and they always made us feel so welcomed.  They may not have had a lot, but whatever they did have they offered it to us.  We always had seating pulled out for us, so that we would be comfortable.  The people also stopped whatever they were doing and made time to talk and visit with us.  This humbled me some, because when I am at home, I struggle to make time for people and if someone comes over I am not nearly as hospitable as they were.  They make time for people and relationships, yet here I let "life" consume me.  We always left receiving so many "thanks" and hugs, which was awesome and heart warming.
     We visited one farmer during his busy season and he stopped what he was doing along with his wife to talk with us.  They also took us on a tour of his property and offered us so much fruit.  We were there well over an hour and the whole time he made us feel so welcomed and not only that, but they were proud.  They were proud of what they had and happy to share.  I think for myself sometimes I get in the mindset, in which, I feel I worked for this, and I do not have much so I need to be very careful in who I share it with.  This simply is not the case there. 
     If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram you know that I built a couple relationships and one that was very dear to me was with a little boy named Ariel.  I met him on Saturday and saw him Sunday and Tuesday as well.  Both days we talked and played.  Sunday we had a fiesta for they children from the church and one of the things we had was a piñata.  Towards the end of the day, Ariel came up and gave me two presents.  At first, he handed me a piece of gum, and my instinct was to say no thank you; but luckily a girl from Nicaragua was sitting with us and said you should take it, because it is disrespectful if you do not.  He then brought me his bracelet.  This made me pretty emotional, because here he has so little and he is giving me one thing of his.  I thought going into this trip I would be the one giving, not them.  It was so enduring and sweet and I have not taken it off yet and it is a great reminder of the selflessness that the Nicaragua people exhibit.
   This is only a tad bit of some of our experiences, and these experiences are what has changed me.  So now I am at a place of now what?  I had no idea it would be this difficult to transition back home.  I feel irritated with people, yet, I thought when I got back I would be more understanding.  I see how fast paced we are, and how much we have in excess and how we no longer put value in relationships.  This makes me have less patience for people right now and I thought I would come back with more patience.  So this is now my struggle, how do I take the emotions I felt there and the lessons I learned apply it to my life, so that I am not just impacting people in Nicaragua, because I want to also make a difference here in the states.
    Life will never be the same.  The relationships I built will always been in my heart and I am so grateful, God softened my heart so I could fully embrace the people, their culture and the lessons they taught me.  I pray that God now can soften my heart again, and that I can find the balance using the lessons I learned and apply it to the "American Life".