I have started fasting over a couple things lately and it has challenged me greatly to look deep within myself and honestly I feel convicted in many areas. Yesterday I shared I am somewhat convicted about trying to live me humbly. Well I feel God has also challenged me to look at my selfish ways.
I think I actually became over confident in this area. I mean I might be a lot of things , but selfish .... No way... Not me... Not even close. But God has open my eyes a little on this and I have seen I am perhaps a little selfish.
Am I doing things to please me more or God? I think in a lot of ways I carry on my life to please myself and then fit God into that. However, I also think there is a very specific area I believe I am putting my needs aside and actively pursing God's will. This is hard for me, because I have gone back and forth on if this is really my "selfish want" or what I feel God wants. I have prayed so much over this issue and journaled throughout and the outcome has remained constant. Although I have realized yes I am a very selfish person, God's plan for you can also be a desire of yours. So no I do not think it is selfish of you keeping pressing through and pushing through and fighting for something you want, if you have taken it to God's word and prayer. In fact I think many times it is much easier to give up, because I fully believe sometimes to get the outcome God desires for you, you might have to go out of your comfort zone. Going out of your comfort zone is not selfish, in fact, it is a time to draw closer to Him. It very well can be challenging and hard and most likely will! Anything in my life that has ultimately been good and rewarding has not been easy. God has used the time before to push me and I am choosing now to press through, because for once I am trusting in His words and His promises He had given me. I am also going to trust what I know God has told me and laid on my heart!
Selfishly and unselfishly yours,
Amber
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