It is pretty fair to say growing up, you always imagine life being good and having the happy ever after, just like in all the fairy tales. You never "plan" on the worse or expect things to be otherwise. But life does not always go as planned or expected and we are thrown curve balls. Today is the ending to what I thought was my future and my forever. Because, just like that with one signature all the years we put together, is like it never happened. It is over. Divorce is nasty is not fun and I would not wish it upon my worse enemy. Holidays, ball games, school functions, they will never be the same. It seems like it is not fair, but like an any situation, you adapt, and you move forward.
It has been almost 2 years now, (crazy to think it has been that long uh), but the finality of it comes down to today. These 2 years have taught me, grown me and made me put on my big girl pants and move forward. At the beginning, I was devastated and did not think there was any hope, that I was doomed, but amazingly, life went on, God provided and grew my character. I am not saying I am happy with my divorce, but obviously God has turned a bad situation and made it good. Perhaps, I needed this life event to become the woman God wants me to be and has called me to be.
I am actually pretty happy with life right now and see now that happiness is not based on one person or having the "perfect life". My life will never be perfect and I am ok with that, because perfection is so overrated and it is boring anyways. I will always be a mom of 4, I will probably still run late, I will always continue to have "Amber moments", take up two parking spots, still care a little to much about situations I have no control over, never have the perfect body, be so ADD it is not even funny, lose stuff on a daily basis and still have my "inappropriate laughing moments", BUT those are the qualities God gave me and what helps me be me, and I kinda of like those things about me. (perhaps not being late, I am trying hard to work on being early)
Who knows what the future holds for me. I do not know if marriage will ever be in the equation, or if love is, but I do know my outlook on life is not that of a bitter person. Yes, I will face obstacles, but who does not? No matter what it holds, I am quite sure it will be fun, full of laughter, travel and adventures with my kids and friends. My kids are my greatest accomplishment to date and I have the absolute best friends anyone could ask for, so although I could chose to sulk at this day and be a cynic about things to come, I am choosing to see, I am in so much of a better place and am truly happy now with the life God has given me!!!
Officially single,
Amber
Monday, July 20, 2015
Monday, April 13, 2015
Kids will be......... Well KIDS!!!
I grew up an only child, so I always knew I wanted a big family. Now I am blessed with four kids. They give me my purpose for living and a reason to better myself everyday. They all have such unique personalities and all though I am bias, they are all pretty good kids. My biggest fear in life is they repeat the same mistakes I made, or live in the shadows of my mistakes.
When Kiptyn was born, I prayed for a scripture for each of my children, and constantly pray that scripture over their life. They all have their issues as we all do, but to see how each of them are excelling is making me extremely proud. I think for me it is easy sometimes to get caught up, in what I am doing wrong as a mom and beat myself up over it. However, this weekend away from it all and had quiet time, I sat and made a list of all the awesome qualities my children possess. I am going to share it with them tonight and print it up and put on the refrigerator, so they are reminded daily of these powerful things. Too often we capitalize on the bad and not good, so at least for that brief moment, they see their good. Let me share them with you......
KYNDALL..... for starters she is kind and thoughtful. She loves helping other children. She is extremely creative and actually helps me so much. She is a straight A student who also excels in sports and she LOVES GOD. Teachers repeatedly tell me they wish they could clone her!!! She is loyal and so so smart.
ANDON....... Has a heart of gold. He will give you shirt off his back if needed and will befriend anyone. He is bilingual and crazy athletic. He can play any sport and excel in it... At 8 he had already won nationals in baseball. If I am sick, he is the one that always is looking out for me. He never gets in trouble at school and works hard to maintain his good grades.
KIPTYN..... my boy has overcome so much. When I look where he was a year ago and where he is now, all I can do is smile and be so proud. His preschool class says he is one of the best and is so so good. He has had is struggles, but even at 5, is learning how to deal with them and is doing incredible at it. He is crazy smart already and also already hitting the baseball to the fence!!!!
TRUETT..... This little boy lights up my day. He is the baby, but boy he is tough as nails. He can take a hit and get up like a champ. He already can ride a dirt bike and play any sport you throw at him. His coordination at his age is amazing. He really can be thrown in any situation and see the good in it. He loves unconditionally and at school they say he never gets in trouble and is such a good boy. Kiptyn and Truett are favorites at the nursing home as they visit. They love visiting and talking to the residents.
So when I look at this list, I see how incredibly blessed I am and how awesome my kids are. All four of them love helping others and have a huge heart. I am excited to see where God takes all them in the future and even us as a family. I know he has a calling for us as a family and I can not wait to see where he leads us and the many experiences we will have together.
In saying all this, I know my kids are not perfect, after all they are kids. But so often we see negative and then they began believing the negative. I know I will still have days where they might bring me to tears, or where I feel I am failing, but I hope I can always be the mom that shows them love and compassion. Also, I definitely am not the person or mom, who pretends life is perfect, because it is not. They see me for me, the good and bad, and I hope in doing that, they can see life is not about being perfect, but striving to be the best person you can be.
"Train a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
I pray now I can train my children this way, and let them see how awesome of a God we serve. And even though our struggles, He is constant!!!!!
Blessed mommy,
Amber
When Kiptyn was born, I prayed for a scripture for each of my children, and constantly pray that scripture over their life. They all have their issues as we all do, but to see how each of them are excelling is making me extremely proud. I think for me it is easy sometimes to get caught up, in what I am doing wrong as a mom and beat myself up over it. However, this weekend away from it all and had quiet time, I sat and made a list of all the awesome qualities my children possess. I am going to share it with them tonight and print it up and put on the refrigerator, so they are reminded daily of these powerful things. Too often we capitalize on the bad and not good, so at least for that brief moment, they see their good. Let me share them with you......
KYNDALL..... for starters she is kind and thoughtful. She loves helping other children. She is extremely creative and actually helps me so much. She is a straight A student who also excels in sports and she LOVES GOD. Teachers repeatedly tell me they wish they could clone her!!! She is loyal and so so smart.
ANDON....... Has a heart of gold. He will give you shirt off his back if needed and will befriend anyone. He is bilingual and crazy athletic. He can play any sport and excel in it... At 8 he had already won nationals in baseball. If I am sick, he is the one that always is looking out for me. He never gets in trouble at school and works hard to maintain his good grades.
KIPTYN..... my boy has overcome so much. When I look where he was a year ago and where he is now, all I can do is smile and be so proud. His preschool class says he is one of the best and is so so good. He has had is struggles, but even at 5, is learning how to deal with them and is doing incredible at it. He is crazy smart already and also already hitting the baseball to the fence!!!!
TRUETT..... This little boy lights up my day. He is the baby, but boy he is tough as nails. He can take a hit and get up like a champ. He already can ride a dirt bike and play any sport you throw at him. His coordination at his age is amazing. He really can be thrown in any situation and see the good in it. He loves unconditionally and at school they say he never gets in trouble and is such a good boy. Kiptyn and Truett are favorites at the nursing home as they visit. They love visiting and talking to the residents.
So when I look at this list, I see how incredibly blessed I am and how awesome my kids are. All four of them love helping others and have a huge heart. I am excited to see where God takes all them in the future and even us as a family. I know he has a calling for us as a family and I can not wait to see where he leads us and the many experiences we will have together.
In saying all this, I know my kids are not perfect, after all they are kids. But so often we see negative and then they began believing the negative. I know I will still have days where they might bring me to tears, or where I feel I am failing, but I hope I can always be the mom that shows them love and compassion. Also, I definitely am not the person or mom, who pretends life is perfect, because it is not. They see me for me, the good and bad, and I hope in doing that, they can see life is not about being perfect, but striving to be the best person you can be.
"Train a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6
I pray now I can train my children this way, and let them see how awesome of a God we serve. And even though our struggles, He is constant!!!!!
Blessed mommy,
Amber
Friday, April 10, 2015
Voices in my head... No wait outside voices.... Shhh..... I am so confused
I love sports and that is no secret. I love watching and going to live events, but I especially love playing them. I am ultra competitive, especially when I played travel sports and school ball growing up. One thing I think I was pretty good at was tuning people out. I think it started, because I am a quieter person by nature (still outgoing just not very loud), but many people are the opposite and I just hated hearing all that "noise" as I was trying to play the game I loved. I began at a young age to tune all the voices out that came from the stands or from people watching the game. I focused on the game I was playing and that was it. I really could have cared less what people around me was saying about me or the team. However, there were a couple big games where I did allow myself to "listen" to these voices and I can tell you, it desperately screwed with me. It messed me up and made my game way off. I played horrible and was no where playing to my potential, all because I chose not to tune people out and I allowed their taunts to get to me.
I wish I was as good tuning people out in real life as I was playing sports growing up. It always seems there is someone who wants to put their unsolicited advice into a situation, or just try and start things and get in the middle of something they have no business in. I am learning to not care and push this type of behavior to the side. But unlike the game, life does not end a hour later.
Last night I got pretty frustrated with many things and almost debated if I should just take a break from quiet time and praying, because I felt everything that I had been journaling and things I am sure God is telling me is so contradictory to the way life is actually panning out at this moment. One word, I have felt God whisper over and over to me is "patience". But DANG I thought that part was over, yet last night as I was debating if prayer is even worth it, I felt God tug at my heart and I clearly heard Him say He is still working on me, be patient. So here I am God, I am listening to you, the One voice in my head that matters. One thing is always constant with God, when I listen to Him and pay more attention to God's word and my journals, then the outside voices, He never fails me. He stays true to all He has promised me and all He has told me.
When I listen to "outside" voices that is when the issues, the doubt, and the fear arise. All that extra noise is not from God. Some people really enjoy seeing others fail and really do not have the best intentions for you, even if they appear they might. Whether it is misery, jealousy or insecurities that drive this behavior, it is irrelevant to me, because I have to learn out to "tune" these outside voices out. Just like in my ballgames, when I tuned the "noise" out, I played to Amber's potential, and I did not care what anyone said and it worked out for the good. So please pray with me, that I can learn to "tune" all this noise out in my life as well, because it does nothing but cause bitterness and distress. Pray I can stay focused on continuing to hear God and allow that to be the only voice in my head I pay attention to.
"I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people....."Psalms 85:8
"while it is said: Today, if you hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts..." Hebrews 3:15
Keeping the outside voices out and inside voices in....
Amber
I wish I was as good tuning people out in real life as I was playing sports growing up. It always seems there is someone who wants to put their unsolicited advice into a situation, or just try and start things and get in the middle of something they have no business in. I am learning to not care and push this type of behavior to the side. But unlike the game, life does not end a hour later.
Last night I got pretty frustrated with many things and almost debated if I should just take a break from quiet time and praying, because I felt everything that I had been journaling and things I am sure God is telling me is so contradictory to the way life is actually panning out at this moment. One word, I have felt God whisper over and over to me is "patience". But DANG I thought that part was over, yet last night as I was debating if prayer is even worth it, I felt God tug at my heart and I clearly heard Him say He is still working on me, be patient. So here I am God, I am listening to you, the One voice in my head that matters. One thing is always constant with God, when I listen to Him and pay more attention to God's word and my journals, then the outside voices, He never fails me. He stays true to all He has promised me and all He has told me.
When I listen to "outside" voices that is when the issues, the doubt, and the fear arise. All that extra noise is not from God. Some people really enjoy seeing others fail and really do not have the best intentions for you, even if they appear they might. Whether it is misery, jealousy or insecurities that drive this behavior, it is irrelevant to me, because I have to learn out to "tune" these outside voices out. Just like in my ballgames, when I tuned the "noise" out, I played to Amber's potential, and I did not care what anyone said and it worked out for the good. So please pray with me, that I can learn to "tune" all this noise out in my life as well, because it does nothing but cause bitterness and distress. Pray I can stay focused on continuing to hear God and allow that to be the only voice in my head I pay attention to.
"I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people....."Psalms 85:8
"while it is said: Today, if you hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts..." Hebrews 3:15
Keeping the outside voices out and inside voices in....
Amber
Monday, March 9, 2015
The Paddle
When I was in college, I went on a white water rafting trip. I have to say it was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed it. I sat on the very back of the raft and by the end of the trip, I was exhausted. I paddled so hard and got the best workout. I really thought I was helping our raft out. At the end the guide even told us we should do the next level up, because he thought we could handle it. So I left the trip really thinking, I was awesome at this new activity I tried. I was sore, I had fun, and the guide even thought I was good at rafting.
At the end of the trip you had the option of buying a video that taped some of your experience. Of course I bought this, I wanted the memory and I wanted to "show off" my new ability to friends and family. So needless to say, I was so excited to watch the video. However, I was shocked at what I saw. Oh I was paddling great and as hard as my little heart would let me, but there was one problem, the paddle never hit the water. It was actually comical to watch, here I was paddling so hard and the only opposing force was the wind, no water. I was so disappointed, all that hard work for nothing. The sad thing is I really thought I was doing my part and making a difference. Just like in life, I think I am doing good, praying, trying to do right, but the truth is I fail miserably everyday. My hope and goal, however, is that I can just become better than I was and continue to work and grow everyday.
As a woman and single mother I think it is very easy to get caught up and say, man I am doing good . I do the laundry, run errands, cook, clean, take care of kids, do baths, work out,, work two jobs, get kids to sports, etc...... Now the list could go on and on but while it does help in some aspects, if I am not spiritually being the woman and mom God as called me to be, then it is not helping and all that hard work really will not make a difference until I do become that woman of God. Trying to be this Godly woman is one of the hardest journey I think I have been on. Fighting all these flesh desires is hard, but well worth it and this is such a growing and humbling experience.This is the first time in my life that I am truly seeing what a difference God is making in me. Life is always difficult and hard, but through the trials is where you see your character grow. "each one's work will become clear for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward."(1 Corinthians 3:13-14) If the work you do, is done in the right attitude and right intentions, God will bless that and things will work out. Like in life, God will bless it, but it takes a lot of paddling. I can do everything I am "supposed" to do, but without God's grace, I am just padding in thin air.
At the end of the trip you had the option of buying a video that taped some of your experience. Of course I bought this, I wanted the memory and I wanted to "show off" my new ability to friends and family. So needless to say, I was so excited to watch the video. However, I was shocked at what I saw. Oh I was paddling great and as hard as my little heart would let me, but there was one problem, the paddle never hit the water. It was actually comical to watch, here I was paddling so hard and the only opposing force was the wind, no water. I was so disappointed, all that hard work for nothing. The sad thing is I really thought I was doing my part and making a difference. Just like in life, I think I am doing good, praying, trying to do right, but the truth is I fail miserably everyday. My hope and goal, however, is that I can just become better than I was and continue to work and grow everyday.
As a woman and single mother I think it is very easy to get caught up and say, man I am doing good . I do the laundry, run errands, cook, clean, take care of kids, do baths, work out,, work two jobs, get kids to sports, etc...... Now the list could go on and on but while it does help in some aspects, if I am not spiritually being the woman and mom God as called me to be, then it is not helping and all that hard work really will not make a difference until I do become that woman of God. Trying to be this Godly woman is one of the hardest journey I think I have been on. Fighting all these flesh desires is hard, but well worth it and this is such a growing and humbling experience.This is the first time in my life that I am truly seeing what a difference God is making in me. Life is always difficult and hard, but through the trials is where you see your character grow. "each one's work will become clear for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is. If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward."(1 Corinthians 3:13-14) If the work you do, is done in the right attitude and right intentions, God will bless that and things will work out. Like in life, God will bless it, but it takes a lot of paddling. I can do everything I am "supposed" to do, but without God's grace, I am just padding in thin air.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Me Selfish----Whatever---Or Maybe
Me selfish ---- Whatever
I have started fasting over a couple things lately and it has challenged me greatly to look deep within myself and honestly I feel convicted in many areas. Yesterday I shared I am somewhat convicted about trying to live me humbly. Well I feel God has also challenged me to look at my selfish ways.
I think I actually became over confident in this area. I mean I might be a lot of things , but selfish .... No way... Not me... Not even close. But God has open my eyes a little on this and I have seen I am perhaps a little selfish.
Am I doing things to please me more or God? I think in a lot of ways I carry on my life to please myself and then fit God into that. However, I also think there is a very specific area I believe I am putting my needs aside and actively pursing God's will. This is hard for me, because I have gone back and forth on if this is really my "selfish want" or what I feel God wants. I have prayed so much over this issue and journaled throughout and the outcome has remained constant. Although I have realized yes I am a very selfish person, God's plan for you can also be a desire of yours. So no I do not think it is selfish of you keeping pressing through and pushing through and fighting for something you want, if you have taken it to God's word and prayer. In fact I think many times it is much easier to give up, because I fully believe sometimes to get the outcome God desires for you, you might have to go out of your comfort zone. Going out of your comfort zone is not selfish, in fact, it is a time to draw closer to Him. It very well can be challenging and hard and most likely will! Anything in my life that has ultimately been good and rewarding has not been easy. God has used the time before to push me and I am choosing now to press through, because for once I am trusting in His words and His promises He had given me. I am also going to trust what I know God has told me and laid on my heart!
Selfishly and unselfishly yours,
Amber
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
My Not So Simple Life
I love to take the kids on vacations. Most of the time, we just go on short weekend or day trips. We love to visit, do and see new things. In fact, our new thing is to try and visit a new ball park every year. One weekend we went to Charlotte for the weekend. They had an indoor pool at the hotel and the kids loved it. We really did not do that much that weekend, but we had a really good time. In fact, if you ask Kyndall or Andon it is one of their favorite trips to date. We had a really nice, but small room. It had a living space, small kitchen and a bedroom and one bath. We also had a very similar experience when we visited Atlanta. We did do a little more, like the Braves game, Coca Cola museum, and aquarium, but it was still very short and our hotel was very similar. Every-time we go one these type trips we love spending the quality family time together. It never feels "small". In fact, it feels just the opposite, it feels like we have a lot of room. Which is quite ironic considering, how all of us sometimes feels cramped in our four bedroom/loft house.
Now I know we do not have al our toys, furniture, or clothes, and most of our "materialistic" stuff is at home. And it is never missed!! We pack a handful of toys and just the necessities that we will need. Today I have really been thinking about these mini vacations and even Nicaragua and I feel somewhat convicted. When I am home, sometimes I get caught up in wanting way more than I need (more clothes, bigger house, nicer car, more toys for kids, etc..) When you do without this stuff it puts it into perspective and you see how much you really DO NOT need it. When we do not have all the "extras" we are forced to play with each other and spend that time together, and it is AWESOME!
It is so easy to get caught up in confusing your wants with your needs. The simple fact is God has given my family way more than we could ever need. We have a wonderful house, a decent car, nice clothes, plenty of food, lots and lots of toys, and more gadgets than we know what to do with, yet our whole house is guilty of wanting so much more. The past year and a half we have had do scale down our wants, since I am a single mom of 4, but yet, this has put the conviction more in my heart. I am beginning to hate this selfishness side of me and I actually find it insulting when someone tries to impress me or win me over with money. I want my kids to learn and realize there is so much more to life than "things". I want us to focus more on relationships and having a good heart verses earthly possessions and being so worried about stuff that does not build character. "Not that I speak in regard to need for I have learned in whatever state I am content. I know how to be abased (live humbly) and live in prosperity, everywhere in all things I have learned to be both full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13
Trying to live more humble,
Amber
Now I know we do not have al our toys, furniture, or clothes, and most of our "materialistic" stuff is at home. And it is never missed!! We pack a handful of toys and just the necessities that we will need. Today I have really been thinking about these mini vacations and even Nicaragua and I feel somewhat convicted. When I am home, sometimes I get caught up in wanting way more than I need (more clothes, bigger house, nicer car, more toys for kids, etc..) When you do without this stuff it puts it into perspective and you see how much you really DO NOT need it. When we do not have all the "extras" we are forced to play with each other and spend that time together, and it is AWESOME!
It is so easy to get caught up in confusing your wants with your needs. The simple fact is God has given my family way more than we could ever need. We have a wonderful house, a decent car, nice clothes, plenty of food, lots and lots of toys, and more gadgets than we know what to do with, yet our whole house is guilty of wanting so much more. The past year and a half we have had do scale down our wants, since I am a single mom of 4, but yet, this has put the conviction more in my heart. I am beginning to hate this selfishness side of me and I actually find it insulting when someone tries to impress me or win me over with money. I want my kids to learn and realize there is so much more to life than "things". I want us to focus more on relationships and having a good heart verses earthly possessions and being so worried about stuff that does not build character. "Not that I speak in regard to need for I have learned in whatever state I am content. I know how to be abased (live humbly) and live in prosperity, everywhere in all things I have learned to be both full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13
Trying to live more humble,
Amber
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Roller Coaster.... Not sure how to feel about the ride
The end of this past summer, the two older kids and myself went to Carowinds, for my birthday. We had an awesome time!! I used to be fearless when it came to rides and I would ride anything. However, I have to admit, by the 4th upside ride we rode, I felt a little nauseous. I actually got a little sad, that I just could not hang like I used to. Not sure if it is because I am getting older or having kids or what, but man I think my face actually turned a little green and I did have to hang my head low and sit out a ride!! Rolle coasters are fun, but they are a mix of emotions, fear, excitement, joy, suspense, worry and so many more. Well I feel I am on a rollercoaster now in life, and honestly not quite sure how to take it.
I love a little fear and the anticipation of a rollercoaster, it keeps you on your toes and awakens a part of your heart that stirs up excitement. But right before I get on, I always want to back out. The what ifs start popping in my head and I start to worry. What if... it breaks down...what if....my seat belt is not tight enough..... what if it falls off the track... Yes my mind goes crazy in those final moments.
Life is fun, life is challenging, it is filled with highs and lows and ups and downs. It is a rollercoaster. The challenging part about life and a rolle coaster is deciding who to ride the ride with. Since December, I have had so many of these highs and lows. My grandmother who I am extremely close to, had to move into Pennyburn. It is an extremely nice nursing home and I know it is the best of the best, but when I visit and see her confusion in who I am, it is devastating and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I also have lost my best friend, who was my dog for 17 years. I loved that little girl. She loved me unconditionally, lasted longer than any relationship and was just there for me when I needed her. I also had a big scare concerning my mom, this past Friday. I know this is "life", and I always try to maintain a positive attitude, but I think when you tend to be a "happy" person, people don't allow you to have "down" moments.
I have done a lot of praying and fasting these past couple months and have relentlessly been hoping for a breakthrough. I want God to open my eyes so big and wide, so I am fully living out his will! I am not a patient person, and I do feel God has revealed so many things to me, which is an awesome feeling, but again it is like the rollercoaster. Even when I feel I am fully trying to live for Him, the human nature side comes out, and I allow confusion, doubt, fear and so many more emotions come into play. I am quite positive, God is growing my character more now than ever, but please pray with me, that I can continue to grow and be the woman He has called me to be and that I can start handling situations without feeling like I am on a rollercoaster.
Diligently praying,
Amber :)
I love a little fear and the anticipation of a rollercoaster, it keeps you on your toes and awakens a part of your heart that stirs up excitement. But right before I get on, I always want to back out. The what ifs start popping in my head and I start to worry. What if... it breaks down...what if....my seat belt is not tight enough..... what if it falls off the track... Yes my mind goes crazy in those final moments.
Life is fun, life is challenging, it is filled with highs and lows and ups and downs. It is a rollercoaster. The challenging part about life and a rolle coaster is deciding who to ride the ride with. Since December, I have had so many of these highs and lows. My grandmother who I am extremely close to, had to move into Pennyburn. It is an extremely nice nursing home and I know it is the best of the best, but when I visit and see her confusion in who I am, it is devastating and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I also have lost my best friend, who was my dog for 17 years. I loved that little girl. She loved me unconditionally, lasted longer than any relationship and was just there for me when I needed her. I also had a big scare concerning my mom, this past Friday. I know this is "life", and I always try to maintain a positive attitude, but I think when you tend to be a "happy" person, people don't allow you to have "down" moments.
I have done a lot of praying and fasting these past couple months and have relentlessly been hoping for a breakthrough. I want God to open my eyes so big and wide, so I am fully living out his will! I am not a patient person, and I do feel God has revealed so many things to me, which is an awesome feeling, but again it is like the rollercoaster. Even when I feel I am fully trying to live for Him, the human nature side comes out, and I allow confusion, doubt, fear and so many more emotions come into play. I am quite positive, God is growing my character more now than ever, but please pray with me, that I can continue to grow and be the woman He has called me to be and that I can start handling situations without feeling like I am on a rollercoaster.
Diligently praying,
Amber :)
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