Satan's Attack

    I am going to be honest with you and say this past week has been hard.  I was warned and was somewhat prepared for Satan's Attack.  That does not take the sting off anymore and definitely does not make the hurt go away.  Satan is attacking my insecurities in many areas of my life, and honestly I understand why people give up their calling and decide to quit pushing forward. I get it and it has crossed my mind.  This is hard, this is real life, but going into this I decided I would not give up and I would see things though. 
    When I get hurt, I naturally get defensive and sometimes I even seek revenge.  It might not be something big, but I try and get even and go back and forth in these trivial insults, hurts, threats, and perhaps even doing the same thing.  And although this is tempting, I do not want to be that person.  I want to be more, be the bigger person and give it to God.  I know that sounds easy, but let me tell you it is not.  That means giving up control and totally trusting God to take care of this.  I know we all say, "God's got this", "trust in God", but how many times have you actually fully give all control over your life to God?  I have not and I am now and it is hard.  I have to have trust in Him and trust is so hard for me. 
  One specific hurt I am facing and moving past is;  I am to the realization I can not change people.  It simply does not matter how much I expect from them or how much I want from them, their "change"
has to come from within themselves and in their hearts.  This hurts me in a couple areas of my life, I hate letting go and I hate "waiting" for them to change, but it is above me and all I can do is pray for their heart and for myself continue on this incredible journey that is being laid out for me.
    I have often heard the bigger the attack the bigger the calling.  This scares the mess out of me and also excites me.  I can tell you I have been attacked in my relationships(friends and partner), kids, insecurities, doubt, and list goes on.  But this is not about a pity party, but rather learning how to give it to God and pressing though.  (I realize and see everyday the struggles everyone goes through) I am still a little apprehensive about thing's that still might come, but I am also excited!!  I know without a doubt this mission trip, the journey to it, the aftermath of it, the life lessons, The Word and Gospel being shared,and the upcoming missions is going to be worth it 10 fold.  Not only for me but for all involved! 

Diligently Praying for everyone reading,
45 days away,

Amber