Home Runs, Strike Outs, and Wiffle Ball

Everyday my kids are outside playing ball. They might be hitting off a tee , throwing , or lately it is wiffle ball and home run derby. There are many times I get in the game too, well one night I decided to hit, but to make it a little fairer I hit left handed. Truett came up behind me as I was swinging the the bat caught his head. Now, since I was batting left handed I was putting all my might into it and it looked like I was doing some awkward version of the chicken dance. You could tell I was not comfortable hitting that way and I had no control over how I actually swung the bat. Unfortunately, Tru got the ramifications from it. Everyone immediately started laughing, because honestly it was a funny sight and thank goodness it was a wiffle ball bat and just plastic and really did not hurt him. His first reaction was he was fine , but once he noticed everyone laughing at him getting hit in the head, then he started crying. Now, I am not all evil, although I was chuckling, I also ran to comfort him and apologize to him. Within minutes the game had resumed and all was right again!

I love the game of baseball and I love watching it... I am a true fan! This week as a family we watched the home run derby. In case you are not familiar with the home run derby, some of the best home run hitters are selected to go head to head and see who can hit the most home runs in a certain time frame. Aaron Judge won and I actually was pullin for him. Now if you know me this is a big deal , because he is a Yankee and I hate the Yankees ..... I am a pretty big Oriole fan. But I have enjoyed watching him this season (just not against my O's). He is extremely talented, has a love for the game that is aparant and makes baseball fun to watch. However, not everyone shares my views... he has his haters and critics. No matter how good he does they are going to pick him apart and highlight on everything that is wrong instead of praising the good . Sometimes in life we face the same thing. No matter how much good we do or how much growth we make as a person, people will always only see the negative. They will rip us apart and pick out every flaw. And we are human , so we all have flaws. And it is no fun being made fun of, just like Truett crying, because he was being laughed at. Anytime I used to hear comments about me I would get sad and depressed and stressed trying to change myself so I can have their approval. But the thing is the more I tried to  change just to have their approval, the sadder I got, bc I realized, even if I fixed the issue they were critizing me on, they would find something new to make fun of me for. It is kind of like trying to hit the bat left handed, trying to change something about me For the sole purpose of pleasing others is awkward and unnatural. It is not the way God made me and not embracing and accepting the way God created me. We will all have our haters, but God did not mess up with he created us and he loves us... flawed and all!

I have said this numerous of times , when my mission trips starts approaching , my life gets attacked from so many different angles. I know without a doubt it is the devil trying to scare me away from going, because the impact these trips have on me and others is enough to scare the devil, and he wants to do any and everything he can to prevent it from happening. This past month has been hard. I have cried more times that I can count and to be honest there have been a couple times I felt like my heart was Just ripped from me . I have had the loneliest of moments, been discouraged, been made fun of, been taken advantage of, been questioned and been made a joke . I truly felt I had Struck Out in this game of life. And the flesh side me would question why this was happening, and then the spirit in me... tells me all of these things are not from God, it is the devil , as cliche as it sounds. But instead of crying and worrying about all these things I have no control over ... I just need to make sure I am putting my trust in God. I don't have a fighting chance to get through these things without God and I will continue ro strike out if I don't rely on him and trust him. I am trusting God to get me through these things and I am handling myself so different from how I used to. I am trying to let the spirit and prayer lead me and not my flesh.  I have no doubt God is going use me like he never has before in this mission trip  and that is why Satan has attacked with a vengeance.  It is so close and I am so excited - I have some fear ha ... like adjusting to no running water , but I am ready!! !

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding " Proverbs 3:5. I have been reciting and reciting this verse. It is so powerful!! Please pray for myself and my team to have the most amazing experience in Haiti snd that we are able to reflect the love of Jesus!!

No switch hitting for me,

Amber

Just like that.... You are now an adult!!!

    Tonight I sat at my first high school graduation, as a high school teacher.  I felt kinda odd at first having to wear gowns, ourselves, but after seeing all the teachers together, I saw the significance behind them.  It symbolized many things and I felt proud to be there at that moment and at such a defining moment for these students.
    It is crazy to think that after thirteen years of school, it all comes down to this moment.  You hear a couple speeches, you get handed your diploma and as soon as the principal announces it, you are a high school graduate.  Just like that you are now an adult.  You now have real life choices to make.... do I further my education, or do I go in the work force?  No matter what the decision is, your life is about to drastically change.  Hopefully, for the better.
   Sitting there brought me back to sitting at my high school graduation.  I was so happy, I was in love, I had a full scholarship, and life was treating me pretty good.  I thought it was an opportunity to escape some demons and finally move past them.  I knew what I wanted to do, which was teach, so I felt I had the world at my fingertips.  Never once did I anticipate more bad luck coming my way, or that I would ever make bad choices.  But as much as I wanted my life to end up happily ever after.... things happened, bad choices were made, unfortunate events transpired and basically life just happened.  Now don't get me wrong, some pretty amazing things also has happened throughout the years.
    So no, this is not how or where I thought my life would be, when I was sitting at my own graduation, but this is still the life God has chose for me.  The events and situations have all grown me and developed my character.  And I am pretty sure He is still growing me and developing me, because, again, life is still happening!!!
    I am praying hard for each graduate that walked the stage tonight.  I pray they all have the will to push and move forward even when life throws them a curve ball, because it will.  But sometimes that curve ball is the perfect pitch for you!

Congratulations Graduates,

Amber

It is finally here.....D day

       It is pretty fair to say growing up, you always imagine life being good and having the happy ever after, just like in all the fairy tales.  You never "plan" on the worse or expect things to be otherwise.  But life does not always go as planned or expected and we are thrown curve balls.  Today is the ending to what I thought was my future and my forever.  Because, just like that with one signature all the years we put together, is like it never happened.  It is over.  Divorce is nasty is not fun and I would not wish it upon my worse enemy.  Holidays, ball games, school functions, they will never be the same.  It seems like it is not fair, but like an any situation, you adapt, and you move forward.
    It has been almost 2 years now, (crazy to think it has been that long uh), but the finality of it comes down to today.  These 2 years have taught me, grown me and made me put on my big girl pants and move forward.  At the beginning, I was devastated and did not think there was any hope, that I was doomed, but amazingly, life went on, God provided and grew my character.  I am not saying I am happy with my divorce, but obviously God has turned a bad situation and made it good.  Perhaps, I needed this life event to become the woman God wants me to be and has called me to be. 
   I am actually pretty happy with life right now and see now that happiness is not based on one person or having the "perfect life".  My life will never be perfect and I am ok with that, because perfection is so overrated and it is boring anyways.  I will always be a mom of 4, I will probably still run late, I will always continue to have "Amber moments", take up two parking spots, still care a little to much about situations I have no control over, never have the perfect body, be so ADD it is not even funny, lose stuff on a daily basis and still have my "inappropriate laughing moments", BUT those are the qualities God gave me and what helps me be me, and I kinda of like those things about me.  (perhaps not being late, I am trying hard to work on being early)
   Who knows what the future holds for me.  I do not know if marriage will ever be in the equation, or if love is, but I do know my outlook on life is not that of a bitter person.  Yes, I will face obstacles, but who does not?  No matter what it holds, I am quite sure it will be fun, full of laughter, travel and adventures with my kids and friends.    My kids are my greatest accomplishment to date and I have the absolute best friends anyone could ask for, so although I could chose to sulk at this day and be a cynic about things to come, I am choosing to see, I am in so much of a better place and am truly happy now with the life God has given me!!!

Officially single,

Amber

Kids will be......... Well KIDS!!!

      I grew up an only child, so I always knew I wanted a big family.  Now I am blessed with four kids.  They give me my purpose for living and a reason to better myself everyday.  They all have such unique personalities and all though I am bias, they are all pretty good kids.  My biggest fear in life is they repeat the same mistakes I made, or live in the shadows of my mistakes. 
    When Kiptyn was born, I prayed for a scripture for each of my children, and constantly pray that scripture over their life.  They all have their issues as we all do, but to see how each of them are excelling is making me extremely proud.  I think for me it is easy sometimes to get caught up, in what I am doing wrong as a mom and beat myself up over it.  However, this weekend away from it all and had quiet time, I sat and made a list of all the awesome qualities my children possess.  I am going to share it with them tonight and print it up and put on the refrigerator, so they are reminded daily of these powerful things.  Too often we capitalize on the bad and not good, so at least for that brief moment, they see their good.  Let me share them with you......

KYNDALL..... for starters she is kind and thoughtful.  She loves helping other children.  She is extremely creative and actually helps me so much.  She is a straight A student who also excels in sports and she LOVES GOD.  Teachers repeatedly tell me they wish they could clone her!!!  She is loyal and so so smart.

ANDON....... Has a heart of gold.  He will give you shirt off his back if needed and will befriend anyone.  He is bilingual and crazy athletic.  He can play any sport and excel in it... At 8 he had already won nationals in baseball.  If I am sick, he is the one that always is looking out for me.  He never gets in trouble at school and works hard to maintain his good grades.

KIPTYN..... my boy has overcome so much.  When I look where he was a year ago and where he is now, all I can do is smile and be so proud.  His preschool class says he is one of the best and is so so good.  He has had is struggles, but even at 5, is learning how to deal with them and is doing incredible at it.  He is crazy smart already and also already hitting the baseball to the fence!!!!

TRUETT.....  This little boy lights up my day.  He is the baby, but boy he is tough as nails.  He can take a hit and get up like a champ.  He already can ride a dirt bike and play any sport you throw at him.  His coordination at his age is amazing.  He really can be thrown in any situation and see the good in it.  He loves unconditionally and  at school they say he never gets in trouble and is such a good boy. Kiptyn and Truett are favorites at the nursing home as they visit.  They love visiting and talking to the residents.

So when I look at this list, I see how incredibly blessed I am and how awesome my kids are.  All four of them love helping others and have a huge heart.  I am excited to see where God takes all them in the future and even us as a family.  I know he has a calling for us as a family and I can not wait to see where he leads us and the many experiences we will have together.

In saying all this, I know my kids are not perfect, after all they are kids.  But so often we see negative and then they began believing the negative.  I know I will still have days where they might bring me to tears, or where I feel I am failing, but I hope I can always be the mom that shows them love and compassion.  Also, I definitely am not the person or mom, who pretends life is perfect, because it is not.  They see me for me, the good and bad, and I hope in doing that, they can see life is not about being perfect, but striving to be the best person you can be.

"Train a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

I pray now I can train my children this way, and let them see how awesome of a God we serve.  And even though our struggles, He is constant!!!!!

Blessed mommy,

Amber
    

Voices in my head... No wait outside voices.... Shhh..... I am so confused

     I love sports and that is no secret. I love watching and going to live events, but I especially love playing them.  I am ultra competitive, especially when  I played travel sports and school ball growing up.  One thing I think I was pretty good at was tuning people out.  I think it started, because I am a quieter person by nature (still outgoing just not very loud), but many people are the opposite and I just hated hearing all that "noise" as I was trying to play the game I loved.  I began at a young age to tune all the voices out that came from the stands or from people watching the game. I focused on the game I was playing and that was it.  I really could have cared less what people around me was saying about me or the team.  However, there were a couple big games where I did allow myself to "listen" to these voices and I can tell you, it desperately screwed with me.  It messed me up and made my game way off.  I played horrible and was no where playing to my potential, all because I chose not to tune people out and I allowed their taunts to get to me.
     I wish I was as good tuning people out in real life as I was playing sports growing up.  It always seems there is someone who wants to put their unsolicited advice into a situation, or just try and start things and get in the middle of something they have no business in. I am learning to not care and push this type of behavior to the side.  But unlike the game, life does not end a hour later. 
   Last night I got pretty frustrated with many things and almost debated if I should just take a break from quiet time and praying, because  I felt everything that I had been journaling and things I am sure God is telling me is so contradictory to the way life is actually panning out at this moment.  One word, I have felt God whisper over and over to me is "patience".  But DANG I thought that part was over, yet last night as I was debating if prayer is even worth it, I felt God tug at my heart and I clearly heard Him say He is still working on me, be patient.  So here I am God, I am listening to you, the One voice in my head that matters.  One thing is always constant with God, when I listen to Him and pay more attention to God's word and my journals, then the outside voices, He never fails me.  He stays true to all He has promised me and all He has told me. 
     When I listen to "outside" voices that is when the issues,  the doubt, and the fear arise.  All that extra noise is not from God.  Some people really enjoy seeing others fail and really do not have the best intentions for you, even if they appear they might.  Whether it is misery, jealousy or insecurities that drive this behavior, it is irrelevant to me, because I have to learn out to "tune" these outside voices out.  Just like in my ballgames, when I tuned the "noise" out, I played to Amber's potential, and I did not care what anyone said and it worked out for the good.  So please pray with me, that I can learn to "tune" all this noise out in my life as well, because it does nothing but cause bitterness and distress.  Pray I can stay focused on continuing to hear God and allow that to be the only voice in my head I pay attention to.

"I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people....."Psalms 85:8
"while it is said: Today, if you hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts..." Hebrews 3:15

Keeping the outside voices out and inside voices in....

Amber
    

The Paddle

    When I was in college, I went on a white water rafting trip.  I have to say it was a lot of fun, I really enjoyed it.  I sat on the very back of the raft and by the end of the trip, I was exhausted.  I paddled so hard and got the best workout.  I really thought I was helping our raft out.  At the end the guide even told us we should do the next level up, because he thought we could handle it.  So I left the trip really thinking, I was awesome at this new activity I tried.  I was sore, I had fun, and the guide even thought I was good at rafting.
     At the end of the trip you had the option of buying a video that taped some of your experience.  Of course I bought this, I wanted the memory and I wanted to "show off" my new ability to friends and family.  So needless to say, I was so excited to watch the video.  However, I was shocked at what I saw.  Oh I was paddling great and as hard as my little heart would let me, but there was one problem, the paddle never hit the water.  It was actually comical to watch, here I was paddling so hard and the only opposing force was the wind, no water.  I was so disappointed, all that hard work for nothing.  The sad thing is I really thought I was doing my part and making a difference.  Just like in life, I think I am doing good, praying, trying to do right, but the truth is I fail miserably everyday.  My hope and goal, however, is that I can just become better than I was and continue to work and grow everyday.
      As a woman and single mother I think it is very easy to get caught up and say, man I am doing good .  I do the laundry, run errands, cook, clean, take care of kids, do baths, work out,, work two jobs, get kids to sports,  etc......  Now the list could go on and on but while it does help in some aspects, if I am not spiritually being the woman and mom God as called me to be, then it is not helping and all that hard work really will not make a difference until I do become that woman of God.  Trying to be this Godly woman is one of the hardest journey I think I have been on. Fighting all these flesh desires is hard, but well worth it and this is such a growing and humbling experience.This is the first time in my life that I am truly seeing what a difference God is making in me.  Life is always difficult and hard, but through the trials is where you see your character grow.  "each one's work will become clear for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one's work, of what sort it is.  If anyone's work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward."(1 Corinthians 3:13-14)  If the work you do, is done in the right attitude and right intentions, God will bless that and things will work out.  Like in life, God will bless it, but it takes a lot of paddling.  I can do everything I am  "supposed" to do, but without  God's grace, I am just padding in thin air. 

Me Selfish----Whatever---Or Maybe

Me selfish ---- Whatever 

     I have started fasting over a couple things lately and it has challenged me greatly to look deep within myself and honestly I feel convicted in many areas. Yesterday I shared I am somewhat convicted about trying to live me humbly. Well I feel God has also challenged me to look at my selfish ways. 

     I think I actually became over confident in this area. I mean I might be a lot of things , but selfish .... No way... Not me... Not even close. But God has open my eyes a little on this and I have seen I am perhaps a little selfish. 

     Am I doing things to please me more or God? I think in a lot of ways I carry on my life to please myself and then fit God into that.  However, I also think there is a very specific area I believe I am putting my needs aside and actively pursing God's will. This is hard for me, because I have gone back and forth on if this is really my "selfish want" or what I feel God wants. I have prayed so much over this issue and journaled throughout and the outcome has remained constant. Although I have realized yes I am a very selfish person, God's plan for you can also be a desire of yours. So no I do not think it is selfish of you keeping pressing through and pushing through and fighting for something you want, if you have taken it to God's word and prayer. In fact I think many times it is much easier to give up, because I fully believe sometimes to get the outcome God desires for you, you might have to go out of your comfort zone. Going out of your comfort zone is not selfish, in fact, it is a time to draw closer to Him. It very well can be challenging and hard and most likely will! Anything in my life that has ultimately been good and rewarding has not been easy. God has used the time before to push me and I am choosing now to press through, because for once I am trusting in His words and His promises He had given me. I am also going to trust what I know God has told me and laid on my heart!

Selfishly and unselfishly yours, 

Amber

My Not So Simple Life

   I love to take the kids on vacations.  Most of the time, we just go on short weekend or day trips.  We love to visit, do and see new things.  In fact, our new thing is to try and visit a new ball park every year.  One weekend we went to Charlotte for the weekend.  They had an indoor pool at the hotel and the kids loved it.  We really did not do that much that weekend, but we had a really good time.  In fact, if you ask Kyndall or Andon it is one of their favorite trips to date.  We had a really nice, but small room.  It had a living space, small kitchen and a bedroom and one bath.  We also had a very similar experience when we visited Atlanta.  We did do a little more, like the Braves game, Coca Cola museum, and aquarium, but it was still very short and our hotel was very similar.  Every-time we go one these type trips we love spending the quality family time together.  It never feels "small".  In fact, it feels just the opposite, it feels like we have a lot of room.  Which is quite ironic considering, how all of us sometimes feels cramped in our four bedroom/loft house.
   Now I know we do not have al our toys, furniture, or clothes, and most of our "materialistic" stuff is at home.  And it is never missed!! We pack a handful of toys and just the necessities that we will need.  Today I have really been thinking about these mini vacations and even Nicaragua and I feel somewhat convicted.  When I am home, sometimes I get caught up in wanting way more than I need (more clothes, bigger house, nicer car, more toys for kids, etc..) When you do without this stuff it puts it into perspective and you see how much you really DO NOT need it.  When we do not have all the "extras" we are forced to play with each other and spend that time together, and it is AWESOME!
     It is so easy to get caught up in confusing your wants with your needs.  The simple fact is God has given my family way more than we could ever need.  We have a wonderful house, a decent car, nice clothes, plenty of food, lots and lots of toys, and more gadgets than we know what to do with, yet our whole house is guilty of wanting so much more.  The past year and a half we have had do scale down our wants, since I am a single mom of 4, but yet, this has put the conviction more in my heart.  I am  beginning to hate this selfishness side of me and I actually find it insulting when someone tries to impress me or win me over with money.  I want my kids to learn and realize there is so much more to life than "things".  I want us to focus more on relationships and having a good heart verses earthly possessions and being so worried about stuff that does not build character.  "Not that I speak in regard to need for I have learned in whatever state I am content.  I know how to be abased (live humbly) and live in prosperity, everywhere in all things I have learned to be both full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:11-13 

Trying to live more humble,
Amber

Roller Coaster.... Not sure how to feel about the ride

                 The end of this past summer, the two older kids and myself went to Carowinds, for my birthday.  We had an awesome time!!  I used to be fearless when it came to rides and I would ride anything.  However, I have to admit, by the 4th upside ride we rode, I felt a little nauseous.  I actually got a little sad, that I just could not hang like I used to.  Not sure if it is because I am getting older or having kids or what, but man I think my face actually turned a little green and I did have to hang my head low and sit out a ride!!  Rolle coasters are fun, but they are a mix of emotions, fear, excitement, joy, suspense, worry and so many more.  Well I feel I am on a rollercoaster now in life, and honestly not quite sure how to take it.
                I love a little fear and the anticipation of a rollercoaster, it keeps you on your toes and awakens a part of your heart that stirs up excitement.  But right before I get on, I always want to back out.  The what ifs start popping in my head and I start to worry.  What if... it breaks down...what if....my seat belt is not tight enough..... what if it falls off the track... Yes my mind goes crazy in those final moments. 
               Life is fun, life is challenging, it is filled with highs and lows and ups and downs.  It is a rollercoaster.  The challenging part about life and a rolle coaster is deciding who to ride the ride with.  Since December, I have had so many of these highs and lows.  My grandmother who I am extremely close to,  had to move into Pennyburn.  It is an extremely nice nursing home and I know it is the best of the best, but when I visit and see her confusion in who I am, it is devastating and I am having a hard time dealing with it.  I also have lost my best friend, who was my dog for 17 years.  I loved that little girl.  She loved me unconditionally, lasted longer than any relationship and was just there for me when I needed her.  I also had a big scare concerning my mom, this past Friday.  I know this is "life", and I always try to maintain a positive attitude, but I think when you tend to be a "happy" person, people don't allow you to have "down" moments.
              I have done a lot of praying and fasting these past couple months and have relentlessly been hoping for a breakthrough.  I want God to open my eyes so big and wide, so I am fully living out his will! I am not a patient person, and I do feel God has revealed so many things to me, which is an awesome feeling, but again it is like the rollercoaster.  Even when I feel I am fully trying to live for Him, the human nature side comes out, and I allow confusion, doubt, fear and so many more emotions come into play.  I am quite positive, God is growing my character more now than ever, but please pray with me, that I can continue to grow and be the woman He has called me to be and that I can start handling situations without feeling like I am on a rollercoaster.

Diligently praying,

Amber :)

Out with the old ... In with the new

.         Out with the old... In with the new.....   Yes these words are such a cliche, but no truer words could be spoken for me at the point I am in my life. 2014 was a year of growth, healing, self discovery and finding a balance to my life. There were tears shed, laughs laughed, and even pats on the back for completing many accomplishments. It is also a year that wrote a final chapter to a book.  So now that book is completed and it is time to begin the new one!
           I am very excited about this book and the chapters that will be written. I can guarantee there will still be tears and laughter, but this book is starting with the main character being so happy with where she is in life, where last years book began with her having a broken heart. I hope there will be chapters filled with my passion for the mission field, my kiddies, new adventures and maybe even a little dating !!   And I can guarantee there will be many embarrassing stories, because after all this is me we are talking about!!
         This year I hope my faith continues to grow and I become more of a person ; who not only talks the talk but walks the walk. But remembering that even at my best I will still have detours, get off the path and stumble.  Overall, I hope  I grow deeper in the word and in my relationship with My Saviour.
           Thank you 2014 for the many life lessons the good and bad. Thank you for helping me find "balance" in life again. The adventures have been amazing and the friendships that have been made,  grown, nurtured and developed are incredible!!!however, it is time to close this book and move on!  So here is to 2015 and here's to the the book and chapters!!

Cheers,

Amber

13 months later..... My marriage is still my first choice

13 months later... And my marriage is still my first choice .....

      I've shared that I have begun testing the waters in the dating world.  The newness is exciting and the "problem free" aspect is nice. Meaning you don't have all the issues that come with your marriage. It seems great, but I would not be honest if I did not say , my firsts choice is still for my marriage to work out.
       It is not my first choice, because I had the perfect husband or marriage, but because I made a commitment and I want to honor that. I want my family in tact. I made a vow and I don't want to break it. It has taken me so long to understand what and how sacred this vow is.
      Truth be told , we did not even come close to having a great marriage and at the beginning I tried all I could go push him away. I threw out the D word , and I closed my self out. I was making the choice to "not love". I wanted to put all the blame on him and continue to point the figure at him. However, now I see love is not easy, you have to chose to love that person.
       I know many people say , how and why would you want to take your husband back. But I think the same thing could be asked of him. I heard today in church this phrase, "I love you but.... I can't do this anymore". This phrase is so familiar to me and I am not going to lie and pretend it doesn't hurt, because I want to be worth it to him, worth the fight. And where he changed the but to so... I will fight. Because that is the mindset I have now... I love you so I am going to make the choice to keep fighting.  This fight maybe one sided now, but I want to know I 100% gave it my all, and that my kids see my marriage was worth fighting for.
     I don't think I really know what it is like to be "one " with some, but in my time of hopelessness, I see hopelessness can bring change. Hope is a lousy strategy for a good marriage.... Relationship ... Hard work is ... You need a "no matter "what kinda of love . Not giving up no matter what. I know and understand I can not change anyone , but I can continue to work and change me.  We are not "divorced" yet and until then , I am still praying !

Hopelessly fighting ,

Amber

Ding Ding..... Round 1

                A couple of weeks ago, we had a slight incident with our toaster oven.  It had a little malfunction, that resulted in a small fire.  Now, I do know enough from being married to a fireman, to keep it contained and I did.  It stayed contained and never got out of the toaster oven, but out of precaution, I called 911.  Ironically, I was wearing a HPFD sweatshirt, and just put vitamin e on my face, so it was sticky and shiny.  I am sure I was quite a site to see, good thing firemen are no longer really my thing!!!  However, right before this transpired, the kids and I were writing letters to Santa.  I even wrote one, which happened to be laid out. I am quite positive they saw it!!!
            I decided to have fun with my letter.  I wrote that I wanted "my perfect guy" for Christmas!!!  I even listed the characteristics I was looking for.  Now, I know that someone is saying, you seriously can not be that picky, but I am.  I like hats on guys, I like tattoos, I like a guy who is active and enjoys sports, but I love someone who can make me laugh, I love a man who Loves God and a man who loves his children.  The things I used to think was so important are not as important to me know and its the other qualities that stand out to me now.  And these qualities I love were in bold caps in my letter, while the others were just merely written.
             I have not been back to dating long, but since I have, I feel I have been in a boxing match.  It is exhausting and I am ready just to take the KO and not "fight" in anymore rounds.  Now do not get me wrong, I love the talking and meeting new people.  It is fun and exhilarating and makes you feel pretty good, it is the rest that is exhausting.  I have never really been one to date more than one person at a time, but I am learning that this is the norm.  This is a little challenging to me, because it is hard to decide where your limits are when you are dating more than one person.  Can you kiss each one, how well do you allow yourself to get to know them, do you allow yourself to potentially "fall".  I know with me I stay pretty guarded and I even feel myself, become somewhat bitchy too.  I know it is more of a defensive mechanism, but how is even possible to totally open up to someone, when there is more than "one" in the picture.  To me opening up, is more intimidate and takes time and trust.   So I am finding it very hard to really truly get to know someone under these conditions and to allow someone to get to know me.
            Then the thing I try not to think about is this..... I do feel I am constantly in a boxing ring.  Throwing punches and receiving punches.  You constantly have to throw punches to stay in the game and you are constantly receiving them just to keep up and compete with others.  I am a very competitive person, but very selfish when it comes to dating.  I want to be number 1, yet this is such a hypocritical statement, and I am aware of this.  That is why I am about just to take the KO and take another year off!!!!

Finding the balance,
Amber

Standing

    If you had asked me a year and 4 days ago, where I would be in a year, I would have given you a totally different answer then what my reality is.  I would have given you an answer that included my family still being in tact.  However, circumstances change and sometimes whether you want it or not, you life begins to change. 
    A year and 3 days ago, my life drastically changed.  My "forever" left and I had to come head to head with many new choices and decisions.  Honestly, at first I did not have the drive, I was sad, it was near the holidays and all I could think about was how am I going to do this alone?  I have said before I have been in a relationship for almost straight 17 years, yes it included a couple different relationships, but regardless I never took time for myself.  I always had to be with someone and I felt I needed someone.  So when I decided to take the past year off from dating, I knew it was going to be hard and challenging.
    But, here I am a year later and I made it and I am still STANDING.  Not only am I still standing, but I feel I am at a much better place emotionally than I have been in a very long time.  I have found myself again and am no longer defined by who I am with.  I no longer am living in my past mistakes, but am happy with where I am and who I have become.  I now feel proud and accomplished.  I have learned to hang things, now many maybe a little crooked, but they are hung.  All these things that I thought I would never be able to do, I am doing it, perhaps not perfect, but I am learning that I like the imperfections.  My children's Christmas may not be as "big" as they are used to, but they will have to learn not about the "material things" it is about the time and memories made, as I need to learn it is ok for them not to get everything they "want".
     I am so far from the perfect person and the reality is I am still a single mom.  I still have hurts, frustrations, and fears, but now I am choosing to have hope.  Yesterday in church we talked about hope and it hit home.  My hope does not mean, I know my future will be always happy and optimistic, but rather my hopes are tangible.  I know and believe that God is invested in me and I choose to trust in  His plan for me.  I now know I will still face challenges, but the hope gives me the courage to take them on.  I am expecting more obstacles, but I know God is for me, not against me, and these obstacles will continue to grow my character, and continue me into the woman God has called me to be.   My present situation could allow me to be a victim and be disappointed in life.  And even lose the drive, energy and motivation to keep trying.  But Hope shows me that my unknown future is known, because of the cross.  It allows me to keep going, keep my head up and stay positive.

Love,

Amber
  

I need you ... The last chapter to my not so love story

     Last night I worked a wedding. There was an older couple there who was just absolutely precious! They danced together, took pictures together and held hands. I joked and said they must be newlyweds, because it seems so uncommon to see a lasting love like that anymore. Honestly, I was quite envious. And for a split second I became a little sad, but the joy that radiated from both of them made it hard to keep a smile from my face. True love is beautiful and seeing this Is simple reminder that love can endure and can win in the end.
     My year is a couple weeks away now and it is bitter sweet. Adam and I are still good friends and he gave me 2 of the most precious gifts, but through this year I have seen that we did not have that "love", I do love him and always will, but it is not a passionate heart stopping love. This week I have been ready to fully close that book and begin writing a new one. I am not quite sure what the chapters will look like, and honestly the book my not be a love story and that is ok.. But my hopes is it has a happy ending filled with a lot of humor and learning experiences.
     Today at church we had communion and I took all this to prayer, and just prayed Gid will continue to make this transition smooth for all involved. When I got in the car I heard the most appropriate two songs. One talked about being set free and how true this is. I have finally been set free of the strongholds that have kept me captive for so long. The second song us called "Running In Circles". Here is some of the lyrics..

    I'm so forgetful, but you always remind me
You're the only one who brings me peace
You're the only one who brings me peace

So I come, Lord I come, I come, Lord I come
To tell you i love you
To tell you i need you
To tell you theres no better place for me than in your arms
To tell you im sorry for running in circles
For placing my focus on the ways and not your face
You're the only one who brings me peace
You're the only one who brings me peace. 

In this new book I need to remember the only thing I need is God and how amazing His Grace and Love is. It is the absolute purest form of love. A love that should fill you up so much that, that is the only love you need and crave. The other loves are "earthly bonuses". I am Eternally thankful He sends these reminders to me, even-in the form of music!

Chapter 1, 

Amber

  I was able to spend the day with Kyndall and it was awesome.  With four kiddies, it is not everyday, they each get one on one time with me.  I love being with her.  She is my saving grace from being around boys all the time.  We can giggle together, shop, get our nails done and even play softball together.  However, as I walked around with her today, there were moments I just wanted to freeze.  She laughed, hugged me, held my hand and I even got a little teary eyed wondering if she would soon outgrow this.  I am selfish when it comes to my kids and I want them to stay my babies, but I know this is not the case.
  I am not blind and I see how she is growing up.  I see the absolute pure beauty in her.  She has this potential to have an amazing future, because as beautiful as I think she is, her heart is huge and I pray she uses it for so much good.  But, I also know she is getting ready to enter, the teenage years.  I fear so much and pray so hard that she handles it well, but watching her today the fears resurfaced. 
  I was never a wild child, but I know times are different even from when I was growing up.  I tend to be pretty laid back, but I am also a bit old fashioned.  I still believe the boy should do the asking out and even call first.  I know this is not the norm, but I want her to see this is what she deserves.  I do not ever want her to feel she needs to throw herself at a boy, talk ugly or present herself in a way that is not her just for attention. 
   My biggest fear in life is that my kids will repeat my mistakes or live in them.  So I hope I can raise an independent daughter, who keeps her morals and values in tact.  On the flip side she does have about 100 brothers who will be watching her and keeping her in check!!  But please pray that Kyndall and I get through these next very important years with grace, patience, understanding and love!!


A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart. 


A mother's treasure is her daughter.  ~Catherine Pulsifer,


A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension


And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships.  ~Victoria Secunda


A daughter is a day brightener and a heart warmer.  ~Author Unknown
“Do not forget to tell your daughters God made them beautiful.”
― Habeeb Akande

“The daughter prays; the mother listens.”
― Amanda Downum, The Drowning City

Kyndall's mommy,


Amber

Inked and a Christian---Is that even possible??

      When I was younger I had no desire what so ever to get a tattoo.  I probably even stereotyped the people who had them. Boy has my opinion changed.  I love them and I appreciate the art behind them and the story that many of them tell.  However, I have been challenged by many people that it is a sin to get a tattoo and that it goes against what God wants.  After hearing this so much, I decided to study this and get my own outcome from this topic.  I studied scripture, listened to podcasts and asked opinions of many; Christians with and without tattoos.  This is the conclusion I came to.
        One of the first things you hear people who are against tattoos say is Leviticus 19:28.  In case you are not familiar with this verse, here it is: "Do not cut your bodies or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord".  Of course at first glance it does very clearly state you should not get tattoos, but when you dig down into this verse it is not exactly how it appears.  First of all, this is from the Old Testament, and this is the Laws from way back .  Now, personally, I believe to live more accordingly to the New Testament, but you also need to realize that God was talking to the people of Israel and giving them laws.  These were laws of the times and if you read more of Leviticus, you would also see many of the laws are outdated and you would not apply those laws to your life today.  For example, it also says not to eat flesh with blood, therefore, any eating meat would not be right or it says do not eat any fruits or vegetables that have not been cultivated it is forbidden and you can not eat it for 3 years.  Also, in verse 19, if you applied this literally, then ear piercing would be a sin as well.  But, we need to realize when God was telling the people of Israel this, their neighbors were doing a lot of pagan worship.  They would cut and mark their bodies to worship the dead  and other gods.  God did not want the people of Israel to be associated with this or to make people think they worshipped these other things, so God set that law in place.  So when you look at Leviticus, I personally feel it becomes a wisdom issue verses sin issue.  You have to learn how to take it in the right context.  If we get a tattoo now, it does not mean we are worshipping other gods or the dead and people no longer associate tattoos with that. 
          I also have people throw 1 Corinthians 19 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own".  I agree here that our body is a temple, however, in the verse, He is actually talking about sexual immorality and how when you have sex outside of marriage, you are marking your body up internally, almost like you are put graffiti on the inside of your body.  So this is a more of an internal issue verses external and again you need to look at the verse in the right context. And if you truly want to treat it as a temple, then you need to take good care of it and watch what harmful things you put in your body or things you subject your body to that could have negative effects. 
         Once verse that seems to stand out to me is  1 Samuel 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart".  This is when Samuel was going to chose the next king and Saul would be who many thought would be the one picked, because he was tall and handsome, but God warned on judging by appearance alone.  When you look at appearance alone, you may overlook a quality someone has or lacks.  Appearance does not reveal what people are really like or what their true value is. 
         We also see in Revelation 19 reference to Jesus's thigh saying "it is written on him", so we could stretch this even to say a little, and say this is like a tattoo.  So no I do not think tattoos are a sin.  I think they are a way to express yourself and to tell a story.  For me personally, mine tell a story and as of right now, they do relate to God and they  begin to tell my journey and walk with God, but this does not mean all mine will.  I think we should not worry about things so trivial as tattoos in the grand scheme of things and it definitely is not our place to walk around condemning and judging others.  I know this is hard, because by nature we are all judgmental creatures, but I feel there is so many more positive ways we could be using that energy instead of trying to prove tattoos are a sin!!!
     

My Marriage.... well kinda

     I am not naïve enough to know that many people are reading this to get the gushy details of what went wrong.  After all we all have a little noisy Nelly in us right?  However, this blog is not all about what went wrong or to bash one person.  It is more where I am and what the healing process has taught me.
     Isn't it sad how we like reading, seeing, hearing and even gossiping about certain situations.  And deep down we sometimes even like seeing things or people fail. Now I know that is never something most people would ever admit to.  Not sure if it is, because deep down, we want attention taken off our own struggles,or could be jealousy, or  maybe it is that we just have that sinful nature, or perhaps it is true "misery loves company".  It could be a little combination of all 4 and then  how quick we are to assume and judge a situation.  Admittingly, I know I have been this person in the past and it is quite embarrassing to confess that and truth be told I will probably be that person again, because I am an imperfect person.  However, I hope I have matured and grown enough to this, that this character flaw in myself comes much more few and far between.
    Many times I have people ask, "Amber why are you not dating yet, it has been right at a year now and the other person has moved on, so why not you"?  Well I can not give a concrete answer to that, but here is what I have learned about myself in the past year. 
     Since I was 17 years old I have always have always been in a serious relationship.  I have always felt like I "needed" someone.  Part of me knows I was trying to fill a void, that honestly no relationship could fill.  Then I got so used to having someone, I could not imagine a life without a companion.  I also began to loose a little of who I am.   I begin being the person that I thought I should be for others to be happy with me.  I lost so much of my individuality and a sense of Amber.  My interests started to become the same as the person I was with.  The Amber I once was, became lost and it has taken 16 years to find that person again.
    This past year has taught me so much and it is continuing to teach me.  I am not going to sit here and say I was not hurt, because I was, devastatingly so, but this year has been a great time of healing and for me a time of  redemption.  I thought I was with my forever.  When I first started that relationship, I was broken and no where ready to be in  another serious relationship.  I was a hot mess.  I had my struggles from the past relationships, hurts from childhood and even the distrust caused by an "father figure in my life".  I let all of those things control me and fill me up with fear and I trusted no one.  I was not ready to come to terms with those things and in doing so I pushed away the person who was patient with me and loved me despite these things.  Then once I started coming to terms with these issues, essentially it was too late. 
     When I first found myself alone a year ago, the insecure side of me came out and my nature was to just want to get revenge back.  To hurt the way I was hurt, but I knew that would get me no where, but make me feel bad about doing it and to just make the situation worse.  I am not going to make this year sound like it has been all peachy and pretty, because it has not.  I have had to come face to face and head to head with all the ugly qualities I possess and lack. When you are alone and you start realizing all these "ugly things" it is somewhat depressing.  So I made the decision I wanted to take this time to grow and to find Amber again. 
     I think many parts of her is coming back to surface and it makes me happy.  I am not longer living to please anyone, except I am trying to live a more humbling life that honors my God.  I have also realized the whole concept of "needing" someone is way overrated.  I have been through ice storms, snow storms, death of a family pet, death of a loved one, vacations, closing on a new house, new car(well new for me), a mission trip, holidays, birthdays, and so much more and guess what I am doing it alone.  And even though the trials can be frustrating, it is so rewarding knowing I can do this, I am independent and I am making it.  And the best part is I am happy.  I have learned to find happiness in things I never knew I could, not to mention, I have the 4 best things that make life worth living.  I am also choosing to find the good in people and situations verses always seeing the negative and bad.  And I have an awesome mom and friends who have been great at supporting me though this transition. 
    So to point a finger and say my marriage is over, because of this person or this one thing would be so unfair.  The truth is we rushed into things, without allowing healing to take place within both of us, and with no healing, it is set up for failure.  I wish I could change things, but that is not the case, so now I find the positive in it.  I am grateful for this past year and what it has taught me and I have learned a lot.  But, I think the cool thing is I am still learning and still growing as a person, mom, and a child of God, and the minute I think I am done growing is the time I need to reflect again, because we never stop learning and growing.  I am at the point now where I no longer have to "settle", for the  fear of being alone, or settling for something I think would make other people happy.  I can be picky, I can set my standards high and if no one ever fits that, then that is ok, because for once in a very long time, I am happy with who I am and who I am in God.  And that person is a woman who loves her God, and so thankful that He loves me in return, even being the imperfect flawed person I am.  And a person who loves her children more than I ever thought would be possible, and am so grateful that even amongst my mistakes, they love me too.  I know the road ahead will not always be easy and I will continue to have struggles, but who does not?  I just open the openness and the rawness and the truth can continue to help me learn more about myself!!



Love,
Amber (The real Amber)!!!

One of those days... Actually weeks!!

   If you happened to be at the 10 am Summit service , perhaps you heard me walk in. After dropping the boys off, Kyndall and I walked into the service. The lights were off and music was playing. I generally sit up front so I walked up front. I saw some open seats in the second row, so we walked up front and around to get to them. Here was the problem.... Since the lights were off I did not see the bottom of the black stage. So yes I ran into it and fell into the lap of the gentleman In the front row sitting with his wife. Um yeah I was slightly embarrassed, but Kyndall and I just grabbed our seats and giggled a little. However, this fits perfectly to how my week as gone, but only now it is more of a laughing matter!
     This week has definitely seen it's fair share of challenges .... From unexpected bills, to clogged toilets , a health scare, frustration over someone backing out on helping one of my students, to even seeking understanding and clarity on something dealing with one of my kids. Now I am not listing these to get a pity party, I did that on my own which has brought me right to the point of this blog.
   In one day: I woke up sick to my stomach (I think due to my nerves), I found out my car was going to cost $1400 dollars and I really did not have a choice but to fix it then. Then at work I grew more frustrated that  someone who had agreed to pay for two tests for a student backed out, because he decided to help another cause . It ended with an overflowed toilet... And if you know me at all you know bodily functions and me just do not go hand in hand. Water was going everywhere and it was nasty water and I was gagging in the process and I even turned the water off. All I could imagine was it starting to leak downstairs and even start getting under the carpet upstairs. This was all the eve of the day I would find out test results of a lump found on me. So to say I was stressed would be an understatement.
   I am not going to lie, I feel like I have it together most days, but that was not one of those days. I was fighting anger and tears and even questioning God. Saying things like why, I thought I was doing more to serve you and to obey you. It was then that I felt the only thing to do and get through it was to pray. And then God opened my eyes.
  See I was not trusting fully on God to get me through these things. I was not allowing myself the peace I should have knowing that "God's already got all this under control". I know that when I put my trust in God I should not have to question things, because no matter what trials come, they will work out how God intends them to, even if at first it may not seem that way.
     Then I started to see things in a new light. I got to feeling better with a little pepto and ginger ale, I did not have to miss work and even still got my workout in. My car was fixed and my gas mileage has gotten better and what was wrong could have caused a bad wreck and it did not. Myself and my kids were not injured in a wreck due to a malfunction in my car. Also an opportunity also opened for a little extra income to help build my savings back up. Although one guy backed out of paying for 2 tests, someone else volunteered and paid for two. I ended up calling for reinforcement for my toilet and after 2 hours of fighting with a plunger and lots of bleach and Clorox. My toilet is working and the bathroom is spotless and no water leaked downstairs or into the carpet and the text results came from my lump came back Benin. So although I had a crummy week, yet again God provided for me even when I did not fully trust Him.

Always embarrassing myself,
Amber 😀

Over Compensating

    For so long I lived in this bubble.  It was a bubble that only existed to me and when it finally popped and busted my world got flipped upside down and inside out.  It was only then that I began to see life the way God intended for me to see it.
    It is a fair statement to say that I had a Christian upbringing.  My grandfather was and my hero (and still is), he was a minister of music and he walked the walk and talked the talk.  He was a true inspiration and a Godly man.  He had compassion and a servant's heart and that is one trait I am so glad that I inherited from him. I strived to be like him, but I went about it in all the wrong ways.  I felt I had to be almost near perfect, like the way I saw my papa.  The part I was not "getting" is that he had 60 plus years to find himself and find who he was in God. I never saw those day to day struggles we all face, with work, raising a young family, and still trying to figure out how to have a successful marriage. He had all these years for God to develop his character and mold him into the man God called him to be, and he obedient to God, and I got to see the man who was closing in at the end of the "working process" not the beginning. 
     I thought in order to be a "successful" Christian, I had to be as close to perfect as I could.  So I talked the talk, but failed miserably at the walk.  However, in my bubble, I thought I was doing so well and I thought I for sure was bringing more people to the Kingdom, surely not giving them a bad taste of Christianity.  But that is exactly what I was doing.  I thought I was leading people to Christ, but in truth I was detouring many of them.  Because, I "pretended" that I had it all together and I had this "faith" thing figured out.  But in reality, I was so far from having it together and I was just learning what "faith" really meant.  I acted as if I really did not have these daily struggles and strongholds, so when people saw the "imperfect" Amber, they automatically thought I was hypercritical and that just would make many have a sour taste for God and what he stood for. 
    Now that did not mean I still did not love Jesus, but I was going about things all the wrong ways.  I was in theory living a lie and hiding the very things that are now part of my testimony.  I was hiding the struggles that God wanted to use and work on with me.  He did not want me to hide it, but instead he wanted me to be open about it, so that people could see how, just because you are a Christian, life is not always perfect, but God wants for us to call and him and he will work through us and on those to "help" those struggles.  He wants people to see he can help you overcome these obstacles.  However, I did not allow that, I was too worried about "maintaining" an image.  An image that I have it all together and that my life is awesome.  I soon let these strongholds engulf me and consume me.  I let them take over me and when that happened,  I felt I just became a huge disappointment. 
   I let Satan control my thoughts and I allowed myself to believe his lies, I soon began to feel so unworthy, defeated, broken and beaten down.  It was an awful place to be in and it drove me further away from God.  I still believed in God, but I no longer felt I deserved his love or grace. After all, in my eyes all I was, was a hypricitial  mess. It was a place of loneliness and despair. 
    It was then at my lowest point, that my bubble finally busted and it all came out.  The feelings of worthlessness, the fears, the distrust , the struggles, all of it and it was such a relief.  It felt good, because the only place to turn was to God and I went to him and I prayed and prayed and He answered and delivered me in the most amazing way.
     I used to try and "overcompensate" for all my struggles and try that much harder to be perfect and in turn it made me a big fake.  It made things so much worse.  It was only when and only when I gave up total control and handed it over to God.  Now I am a work in progress.  I still face these struggles, but I don't hide them and they are getting so much better, because I am being honest and fully relying on God to help!   Part of my daily prayer is that God keeps growing me in these areas and that He continues to  make me new and just to allow people to see through me that the only way I have been able to start the process of diminishing these strongholds is by taking it to God.  I am not pretending anymore and I don't feel like I have to pretend I have it all together, because I don't!!  I am a mess!!  But the mess is what is growing my faith and my character and I am ok with being imperfectly perfect.
  

Love and Blessings,

Amber!!!!!

Sweetly Spoken

          I am not good with funerals so I tend to avoid them if possible. I  am good expressing emotions in the written form, but when I am trying to convey sympathy to people in person, I tend to stumble on my words. However, today the kids and I attended one for a very special man. A man who had more character than most can ever dream of having.
           Driving home tonight from Andon's baseball games it still was weighing heavily on my heart. He loved to hear  Andon talk about his games and he bragged so much about his nephew and the sports he played! I know my kids can be a little rambunctious at times, but they loved Scott and as soon as they saw him they went running and calling his name. I swear I think Truett's second word was Scott!! They simply adored him, but Scott also made time to play with them and talk to them! I was a little apprehensive bringing all kids to the service today , but the two little ones fell fast asleep about 10 min into it. I can  not help but to believe God had his hand on that!
             One common theme that was said over and over today was the ability Scott had to make others feel comfortable and at ease. He definitely had a servants Heart and he always always helped my family.  I know over the past 11 years he also developed a strong bond with Adam, I know he always gave him a ear and was more like a father figure than just a neighbor!  I know Scott and I had many many long conversations. We had a commonality of sports and love for animals. He watched us bring 2 of kids home from the hospital. The last couple months I was preparing for a move and I almost avoided Scott , Bc him and Joy were seriously the hardest part of moving. I knew I would never have another neighbor who would look after us and be as caring as they were. Now it makes me sick to my stomach. I very much wish I had continued on with out normal conversations !
        I still feel like I am going to see Scott, Bella, and  Hooper walking down the driveway. It absolutely does not seem real yet or possible. Scott Cherty truly was one of the best men I have had the pleasure of knowing and in so glad I did and that my kids knew him. My Heart hurts and rejoices at the same time. It hurts because people like him who radiate good should still be here, because our world has lost all he brought to it. It also hurts for all he left behind. His friends, daughter, nephew, dad,his fur babies,  grand kids and especially Joy. Their love was obvious and shined. However, it rejoices because I know Scott was a believer so I know his Homecoming is awesome . I know he is in the place we all strive to be in, so to God be all the Glory to that!
           Psalms 71:20-21 You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again. You will increase my greatness and comfort me again.

    I ask now that you pray with me. Pray for Scott's friends and family . I also ask that you pray specifically for his friend Keith who was with him on the hike. I ask you to pray that God gives him

A sense of peace. I also ask that you cover his wife Joy in prayer., and pray for healing, understanding and peace. Joy is also a wonderful woman.... We have all heard how great Scott was and his heart was with her. That tells us how special she is .

        In closing, I just want to say Scott was a great neighbor, friend, parental figure, grandparent figure, but more than anything an outstanding man. I can honestly say that I would be so proud of my three boys if they grew up to be half the man he was, and I have only said that about one other man, my grandfather. Men like Scott Cherry do not come around everyday, so I will cherish the years I knew him! 

Here is a link to an article in HPE about him 

http://www.hpe.com/news/x1992158633/A-hike-to-remember

Sweetly Spoken, 

Amber